Over 80% of American pet owners consider their pets to be members of the family, and well over half spend more time taking their pets to the vet than going to the doctor for themselves. They are also more likely to know the names of their neighbors’ pets than the names of their neighbors.  

Grief upon the loss of a pet is a normal response, and a very individual one. For some people, grieving for a pet who has died may be an even more difficult process than grieving for a human loved one. One reason is that the support network of understanding and caring people may be smaller. If a person has lost a human loved one, the friends, family, co-workers, etc., will all be understanding. They may send cards, flowers, and offer food and companionship. This is often not the case when a pet dies

Unfortunately, this is a very common situation. Your friends and family may not understand how you could be so upset about losing “just a pet."  They may not understand because they don’t have a pet of their own or because they are unable to appreciate the companionship and love provided by a pet.

To do your best grieving, you need to stand up for yourself. That doesn’t mean arguing with others about whether or not your grief is appropriate, but it does mean accepting the fact that the best support for your grief may come from outside your usual circle of families and friends. Seek out others who have lost pets; they will appreciate the magnitude of your loss, and may be able to suggest ways of getting through the grieving process.

Given the rich and intense relationships most pet owners share with their animal companions, the loss of a pet can be very painful. The loss of a beloved pet can trigger overwhelming feelings of grief and sadness. Physically, you might have trouble sleeping, lose weight, feel tired all the time or have difficulty focusing. Your feelings might surprise you, but shouldn’t if you consider all of the things your animal companion brought to your life, chief among them love and affection.

Grieving might take you to your spiritual and emotional edges, so it’s often tempting to try to avoid it. Yet the more you are willing to embrace your emotions, the better equipped you are to live and love fully.

What are the typical stages of grieving?

• Denial is a natural response to the shock of death. However well you understand the facts of death, it is still ultimately mysterious and often frightening. The more your pet has been a part of your life, the harder it can be to think about going on. Dealing with the realities of death can be much more difficult if you suppress your feelings of grief and loss.
• Anger includes all of your expressions of unhappiness about the situation. Anger can focus on whatever or whoever you blame for death – even God. When anger is accepted and expressed safely, it can motivate action. If you get stuck in blame, guilt or bitterness, your anger can be destructive.
• Bargaining includes your attempts to remain in control. Sometimes bargaining takes a magical-thinking slant, such as," Okay, God, please bring back Fluffy and I’ll change this or that about myself.
• Depression is the psyche’s attempt to muffle the feelings of loss. Extreme sadness is often mixed with doubts and fears about the meaning and nature of life. Depression includes feelings like hopelessness and overwhelming sorrow. Your energy level can drop swiftly, rendering you unable to perform tasks we normally do easily.
• Acceptance comes when you can finally feel and integrate all the feelings of loss: powerlessness to prevent death, loss of identity, sadness, gratitude, joy, hope, anger. Having faced loss, you appreciate every moment of life more. Sadder, wiser, more hopeful and appreciative, more grounded, more compassionate, you now have much more to give to others and ourselves.

It may come as a surprise that you feel so deeply about your pet. You may have been aware, but not mindful, of the many wonderful gifts your pet brought to your life. For many, the loss of a pet is the loss of a trusted companion. As you experience sadness and grief about the death of your pet, take time to consider your pet’s special place in your life. The questions below can help you understand why you are so sad and, hopefully, give you positive ways to remember your pet.

• How did my pet come into my life?
• What types of activities did we do together?
• What important life moments did my pet see me through? (births, deaths, marriage, divorce, etc.)
• How did being with my pet make me feel?

How shall I grieve?” is a question to be answered differently by each person. Here are some suggestions which might be helpful:

• Pay attention to your feelings, even if you don’t understand them. Write about your feelings and talk with others about them.
• Don’t assume that the current grief will be like previous ones. You are not the same person who grieved before (though old grief's may definitely come alive in new sorrows).
• Listen to music, especially instrumental music that helps express your sorrow and move through it.
• Create your own art, music and poetry to express your feelings. Don’t worry whether it is “good.” Just do it.
• Move your body. Walk in the woods, exercise or take a yoga class. Anything that gets you moving for at least a short time during the day can help lift your spirits.
• Spend some time with others who have lost pets. Check out the message boards and pet loss support groups at the end of this article. If your own therapist or clergy does not work well with the grief of pet loss, find someone who does.

Doing something positive during this time of sadness may help the grieving process by celebrating the life of the pet. Activities which may help include:

• Planting flowers or a tree in memory of the pet
• Making a charitable donation or volunteering your time at a local shelter
• Holding a funeral or memorial service (you may want to personalize a monument or memorial urn as a tribute to your devoted pet.)
• Placing your pet's nametag on your key ring
• Creating a memorial photo album or scrap book
• Framing a photograph

How long does it take to grieve?

Every person experiences grief differently and on a unique time line. Often it depends on how willing you are to feel the grief and work through it. The more you try to repress your feelings, the longer the process might take.

Should I get a new pet right away?

Common wisdom says no, because pets are not interchangeable. Though it’s tempting to fill the void of one pet’s passing with another pet, most vets and grief counselors say it’s best to mourn the old pet so that the new one can be appreciated fully for its own sake, not as a replacement. That may mean choosing another type of pet or a different breed. Follow your instincts, you will know when it is right to bring a new animal companion into your life.

                            Pet Loss Hotlines (Grief Counseling)                         

                                   Need to talk with someone: Click Link Below